Last day............

This was a superb experience. I am  going to miss these children forever. Like I’ve said, the memories I have shared with them are forever imprinted into my heart, and they will never ever leave me. The saying, “Time flies when you’re having fun” is very true. I feel like it was only yesterday we arrived and met the children. There have been so many bonding moments that will be more than remembered, they will be captured in my mind. Each hug and each kiss has made me feel relived because I know that they know that I love them more than anything, and my worries fly away like a graceful bird. My thoughts and perspective on life are going to be different than what they were. I’m finally awake from a dream, I’m living in reality. I wish I could look at the children’s faces in slow motion, so I can see the difference and feel  them one more time. My heart beats so fast and fills with love when I hear about these kids.

                We made bags with necessities, clothes, and food for 135 people. It was so amazing making the bags, because it made me feel so good that each bag will go to a kid and a family who is so thankful for everything we got them. We had an awesome and emotional fiesta with the children.  We had food, soda, and the best to the kids was a piñata. There was music and definitely lots of dancing. I loved dancing with all the kids because they had massive smiles and the laughs were worth everything. My first home visit was Marlin, like I’ve said in past blogs. When she pulled up, I started crying because seeing her out with the wheelchair and moving was so great! I put lotion on her and that lotion was probably the only lotion she had in days or even years. I was so joyful.

                When it was time for everyone to leave, the sadness and emotions came out in tears. I really wish I could explain how I felt. It was like someone took my strength to hold in my tears but I couldn’t. When the kids left they kept yelling” Hasta manana”,  which means “see you tomorrow” in Spanish. And I didn’t know what to do or say at that point, so I Just kept hugging, kissing, and crying. I know how bad it hurts to leave someone that is very special to you, but I couldn’t handle it, it was like losing someone. Hopefully, when I’m 18, I can come back and see them again, or hear of them going to college and succeeding because I know they can and they will.

                I don’t want to leave, but at least I know that I left my impression in Nicaragua, and touched many hearts, and hopefully saved some lives. I brought sunlight and happiness into the lives of the kids during the time I’ve been here. This whole trip means the world to me and will stick with me forever! No one will ever see the same nor will I again. Thank you to all my supporters, loved ones, and friends for getting me here.  It was all worth it.

Another amazing day...

Nicaragua is such a blessing and so are the children. Time is so short, if only I could slow it down. Just knowing each day these children are getting all they need, which is love, makes me feel content. I keep thinking one more extra minute, one more extra second, and one more extra day that I could do so much with these kids. Like improving learning skills and most of all happiness and gratefulness. I was sitting there thinking, and realized that the time we have left with them is short, and that when we leave they are back with the teachers. Don't get me wrong the teachers are very sweet but these children will never forget us nor will we forget them. They will always be on my mind no matter what. 

   The teachers in my classrooms yesterday were Edgar, Mirna, and Lydia. They teach the children that are deaf. At first I just sat in the corner taking a little bit of notes and kinda getting the scoop of what was going on, and what they were teaching. Karlina and I taught some english, math, and definitely learned and grew within the day on both sides. I am so proud that I understand and can have an actual conversation in sign language. I also learned new words in spanish and in sign language. Now I'm going to tell you a story that brings happy, sad, and emotional tears to my eyes. I've talked about Sulima before and like I said she is the biggest sweetheart of all time - so are the other kids of course. But I know that each hug and each kiss, means more than just a hug and a kiss. Its love. Love is a very strong word. Love is Sulima's therapy, her medication, and her cure to sadness for anything going on in her life. I mean she gets absolutely no love at home, the only love and happiness she gets is at the school. It's like her place to escape. Knowing that kids back home and around the world don't want to go to school makes me confused because here all they want to do is go to school. Everyday they look forward to it. And like I've said before, it's like their place to escape. It is a place that they know and understand that people do care and love them and that they are accepted. 

   The school teaches the boys life skills everyday, like gardening and cleaning. So that when they grow up they will be able to get a job. I find that so inspiring and to know that they will grow up to succeed in so many ways, it's amazing. Today I was in Yahoska's class and there were two children. Their names are Jesus, who is blind, and Joshua, who is blind and deaf. Jesus is the smartest kid in almost everything and so is Joshua. Jesus and I worked on multiple things, for example: math, english, feeling shapes and objects and naming what they are. Then kinda just played with play-doe. Jesus has a heart of gold, he is blessed with such a great family. He improved tremendously today. First of all there was no outlet in the room where he could plug in his piano. So we went to an open room that had an outlet as a reward for accomplishing his counting and english skills. Jesus and I shared a very beautiful moment that will stick with me forever. We went and played the piano, and since I have experience with the piano, it felt so good to teach him new things because he loves music - loves it. Joshua is super adorable. He was very playful and he knew I was there. We played with makeshift instruments and it was so heartwarming to see the connection. Later on today, Alex our awesome transporter and Jesus, the schools groundskeeper, came in and fixed up an outlet for the piano. Words can't explain Jesus's happiness. He kept repeating to me " Piano tomorrow Alexis, piano tomorrow Alexis". My heart was overwhelmed with joy and we also both jumped with joy.

   I am so thankful for this opportunity. I'm at a loss for words for my thankfulness These kids are teaching me so much it's incredible! I learn new stuff from these children everyday. Because of that it's going to help me later on in life and help me to pass it on - almost like a domino affect. My life has already changed. 

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."

Lao Tzu

Experience of a life time…….

Today was extraordinary. I felt so many emotions coming here but they were all good. The butterflies in my stomach are crazy but an amazing feeling. Even waking up this morning I was super excited to start the day. The minute the kids' bus pulled up, everything, and I mean everything, went away-my worries, my thoughts, and my past. Everything at that moment was just about meeting and greeting the kids, nothing else. It was a time and a moment that I won't ever forget. I was greeted with all smiles and hugs. The first beautiful girl I met was Maura. She was so enthusiastic and awesome! She gave me a pack of cookies which was the sweetest thing ever! I met so many great amazing children. I saw inside of them and their happiness was beyond everything. It made me feel like the happiest girl in the world.
   We were all assigned a classroom and I got Marlene's room. She is the greatest teacher, she knows what to do and when to do it with the kids, and she cares about them so much! In my room the children's names are Sulema, Evan, Julio, and Michelle. We all worked on the sounds of letters, numbers, names of drawn pictures like triangles, and cats. and then just drew and colored. When Sulema was born she had a high fever and they didn't have money to go to the doctor. So from there she got brain damage. Although she is absolutely fabulous, she loves hugs and kisses! A lot of the kids that are blind and deaf had an infection in their ears or eyes and they couldn't afford a doctor, and so then that caused blindness and deafness.
   By lunchtime for the kids, which is 10:30, they all ate and in the meantime I hung out with Douglas and he was deaf. I signed and wrote words on a piece of paper with him, and he is the coolest kid and very funny! At 12pm all the kids went home and they still gave hugs and kisses. After they left Marlee and I went on home visits with Whitney, Magali our social services worker, and Anna our translator. The first home we went to was made out of tin in the slums. The girl's name is Marlin and she is 26 years old. They did not know her disability, but we think it's Parkinson's. Her mother is verbally aggressive with Marlin and Marlin is severely sunburned everywhere and had scabs on her and what I find is very very awful. She was perfectly fine, I mean a normal kid up until she was 14 she sold tortillas and she played everything. What I find seriously unacceptable is that she has no pants nor underwear; her pants are a blanket. She has no shoes, no socks, and severe lice. The mom Nellie took absolutely no care at all and the grandkid takes better care of Marlin than her. By the end of the session Magali and Anna decided to take her to the school, Escuela Especial, which was an astounding thing.
   The second house visit was just so frustrating. Even the other one was, but this one was just bad. They lived in a small area and they are getting the other building fixed up for another room. The children's names are Franklin and Clara, twin 16 year old brother and sister, both with Cerebral Palsy. Franklin is toddler size and Clara looks like a 6 month old newborn. They had no diapers on but there were diapers scattered around the floor. The smell was all urine and it was just nasty, so I felt so bad. The mom was doing very inappropriate adult stuff when we walked in. They do get checked on every so often.
   This was a great, emotional, day and inspiring in every way. It was so wonderful, there are no words to explain my happiness and emotions. There was something new every second. I would take bullets for these kids, honestly I would do anything, anything that is possible I would do it. My experience has been changing my life every second and minute. I cannot wait and I eagerly look forward to tomorrow!

Life is a song - sing it. Life is a game - play it. Life is a challenge - meet it. Life is a dream - realize it. Life is a sacrifice - offer it. Life is love - enjoy it.

Sai Baba

Have you ever been in a situation where you were stuck and had no way of knowing how to make the right decision? When I'm in this kind of predicament I turn to a person of inspiration. Inspiration is a feeling that keeps you going, moving, motivated, and helps you follow your dreams.

There are many people in my life that are sources of inspiration, one person in mind is my Great Grandmother, Lela Casaus. She had a heart as big as the world, and loved her family more than anything! She loved to pray and always blessed the family. She was most happy when all the family got together and had a good time. She made it a priority to go camping for the family reunions, even though she was getting old and was sometimes sick. She had a wonderful sense of humor and is very spiritual. Grandma Lela inspires me in many different ways. I have learned from inspiration that I need to love my family and the others around me. Because of grandma Lela I want to help make sure that everything is ok with everything and everyone in the world. I need to remember that all my actions depend on what I want to do and who I want to become. I love my grandma and I'm so happy I got to meet her. She was the one that inspired me to chase my dreams and that I will always have her by my side.

Another person of inspiration is my Grandpa Alfred. He was in the Korean War for 3 years. He lives in Pueblo Co. with my grandma Alfie Salazar. I always love to go to their house in the summertime because his grass is the greenest grass in town! He teaches me to take care of my things and everyone else. He is a huge supporter and sets an example for me and his younger family generation. He likes to do fun things, like fishing and camping.  My grandpa has affected my life in many different ways. He teaches me life lessons that I need for everyday tasks. My grandpa is the kind of person that makes sure that your doing the right thing and make right choices.

My last person for inspiration is my Great aunt Grace Rodarte. Words can't explain what an amazing person she is. She loved to take care of animals that needed help in any way. Grace enjoyed drawing religious art. She loved to take care and babysit her nieces and nephews. She was very faithful in her religion. She inspired me to help others and understand my religion. Grace taught me to enjoy life and make the most out of it.

If I was an animal I would be a horse because they are very good friends to have. You can talk to them even though they don't talk back, they still listen. Horses have as much feelings as we do. They are very bonding animals. Horses also help with therapy, and they are very strong animals. I would love to rome free in the wild with the wind blowing my hair, while razing in the grass with the rest of the herd. It would be like having a big huge family together all the time. I would love to say hi to the people who come and see us.  Horses are amazing animals. It is an amazing feeling being on the horse, talking, and bonding with them.

"We love horses for what they embody: freedom, spirit, adventure, peserverance, and drive. Horses are gentle, loyal, fierce friends and the ultimate travel companions who are willing to go the distance with you." -Unknown

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” 

― Maya Angelou 

Looking forward to this experience!:)

Fear is many different things. Just saying the word "fear" makes you think of all the fears you hold. Fear flows through everybody, no matter what. Some are afraid of the dark, and some are afraid of heights. But not all fears are scary. My biggest fear going on this trip will be when the trip is over and we have to leave the children. Especially when the children have marked their handprints in my heart. Although I'll miss making them smile, laugh, and most of all, make them feel special, I know I will bring back something even more special. Even though I know I'm afraid of leaving, I know I'll come back with so many memories and inspiration. I can all ways look back and remind myself to do more at home, and to know I made someone smile and made their day. And hopefully know that their love and passion will live on and on!

Difficulties are in everyday life. They are obstacles that teach us a lessons. Difficult experiences help us become stronger as an individual. Learning of all the difficulties that these children have,  touches my heart when they can still have a smile on their shinning little faces. What is even more difficult is to know so many people have almost everything they want, and still ask for more, while on the other hand there are still so many people who don't even have food on their plate, is unenviable for me. I think we all need a sense of giving and helping, even if it is a smile or just a hug. All I know is to cherish every moment I have with them.

Change is only matter of time. I think I will change in many ways and many times though out my lifetime. I would like to be more open-minded, help out a lot more, be thankful for the people in my life, and most important I need to learn to be not so greedy and appreciating the things I have. Ever since being in CGA I have opened my eyes a little more each day! CGA has also taught me I have a lot of responsibilities that I need to place as priorities.

"I love those who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but they whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves their conduct, will pursue their principles unto death" -Leonardo da Vinci

I cant wait:):)!!!

     I am sitting here thinking what would have happened if I didn't have this opportunity? What if I never found this program and service project? I'm thinking do these kids now have a roof over their head? Or am I the only one? Are they getting rained on? Have they eaten? Have they taken their medicine? We don't know this because we are here thinking these things. This is why I want to go try and prevent this from happening. I want to make them as happy as I am now, even if it is a pair of shoes or even a simple hug to make their day. Every minute of the day I wish I can be there to help or talk to them for support, anything they want. This day forward I feel as if it's already making me think and changing my life...